Go for a run if: You don’t care if you fall down

So I get home from work and immediately don my running clothes in preparation for a group run at the local running store with new shoes to try, right? After feeding the zoo animals that reside in our house, of course. And then Comcast, wait, Charter? Is that what we have here? Anyway, Charter or Comcast stops by wearing safety yellow vests and making me think they are the water or gas company or something and have something super important to tell me like, oh, uh, hey we’re going to dig a giant hole in front of your house and you won’t have water for a while, or something equally irritating (because that can happen, here, too often, yeay yeah #firstworldproblems be quiet) so I break my cardinal “Never Open The Door Ever Ever” rule, the “Always Pretend You Are Not Home” rule because 888 times out of 889, it is NOT someone you want to talk to knocking at your door – AT YOUR DOOR! – unannounced via text or familiar giggling which is the only polite way of warning one you are APPROACHING THEIR HOME (I’m going to digress just now from my current digression – I MISS apartments. It’s been 8 or some stupid number of years since I’ve lived in a house again and I just cannot re-acclimate to the fact that someone doesn’t have to be buzzed through some far away outer barrier, preferably by me, in order to gain access to the inch or two of separation a single door provides. Anyway.) and they could be HOME INVADERS (also never out of the question) but they had neon yellow vests on so I thought they were important and I answered!

They were nice people just doing their jobs, but after a long conversation saying, oh, hey, yeah, we just switched to you guys last month already, and yeah, you’re internet is nice and fast these days, so… seriously, what more do you want? Oh, we only have internet because we don’t watch regular TV or have a landline (I guess some people still have landlines?). You don’t? What do you watch? Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime pretty much have us covered for about 25 bucks a month, plus, free two day shipping. Huh. What do you watch? Netflix originals. Oh I haven’t heard of those. Well, uh, how long have you been without cable/satellite/an antenna? Since 2009. Oh, wow, that’s a long time, uh, well… So. Yeah and the weather’s getting nicer, so, you know, less time inside. How many tvs do you have? One. Huh. Well, okay! Thanks for choosing us as your internet provider! No problem! They really were super nice and pleasant. I’m being serious there. No really, they were.

ANYWAY this wasn’t even close to the point of this post. So, after that, I walk the dogs, b/c that has to happen before driving away. And then I get back… and wander around, wondering why I’m going to go on this group run to try out new shoes when my current pair of running shoes still looks nearly new (because I hate dirty shoes) and I haven’t exactly been racking up the miles and wouldn’t it be so much easier to just run in the neighborhood? And really, wouldn’t it be just so much easier to not run at all? I think I shouldn’t run.

No, no, I’ve gotten this far, I have to do it. It’s lovely out, etc etc, I’m running a race in a week or two or three or whenever, FOR THE ANIMALS (Please donate, they will love you without even knowing it, and you can love yourself even more, you know you want to!) etc etc, so really, I just really should, it’s good for me, yadda yadda yadda. So off I go!!! And half a block later, DOWN I FALL! Like, in front of EVERYONE because of course everyone is always standing at their front windows just WAITING for something embarrassing like that to happen) I don’t even know how, the sidewalks are uneven but it wasn’t even a trippy part, I was just so intent on this Mysterious Object way up ahead, wondering if it was some sort of very stoic bunny or a giant piece of dirt when the mysterious object realized it was, indeed, not dirt or a stoic bunny but a nonchalant cat, and that I was, indeed, approaching… well, not rapidly, per se, but definitely approaching … so the cat gets up and saunters off haughtily (I do actually love cats, they are mostly hilarious) and then, because I’m not paying attention to where I’m putting my feet, down I fa.. er well maybe not… nope, here I am lying on the scratchiest kind of sidewalk concrete, great. Well, whatever. I’m just going to get up and keep on going! Yeah! I’m so tough!

… Oh. But. I’m bleeding. Like, dripping. Ick. Gross. That’s just gross. Ew. Okay fine. FINE. That is distracting. So I go back home, right? (I’m peppering this with that So… right? sentence structure every so often to annoy someone who has no idea this blog exists! Ha! I’ve never even lived in CA!) I do the H(little 3)O bit, slap on some bandaids, and OFF I GO AGAIN! BECAUSE I AM SO TOUGH! Then a fellow runner and his adorable daughter stop me as I’m, er, walking up a hill (shut up) and they took a wrong turn, so I figure out where they are going from their tiny map from their running club and set them straight, all while forgetting to pause my watch for the amazing time I was about to get on my very short run, but hey, I’m just a very nice person, so there. And then I complete my very very short run.

And it was fine. And it was good. And maybe I’ll do it again Tomor…er, the day after tomorrow. Yeah, then. I mean, I could get injured if I overdo it, so…