Let me rephrase: being married to my spouse is not in and of itself irritating; how others gleefully expunge one’s prior, pre-married and apparently less-than-worthy identity and replace it with that of one’s spouse – that is, if one is, as I am, the unlucky female spouse married to a male with a socially stickier identity – is supremely irritating.
I don’t even like “Mrs.” After all, why should my salutation suddenly change? The man’s doesn’t. Ms. serves me just fine. That women’s salutations should change with age or marriage or divorce is absurd. That I should be continually addressed on invitations as Mrs. Husband is just plain offensive, especially since my family is the greatest infractor of this indignity. Tradition be damned – my clearly and often stated personal preference should supersede any traditional ettiquette nonsense.
AND! Especially when I’m IN the wedding. I’m spending a great deal of time and money on a wedding to which I’m basically not actually invited! Someone named “Mrs.” is invited, but I saw my name no where on the invitation. Seriously.
Ah, society. Bend to my will, already. Blerg.